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Planking: Possibly The Stupidest Thing Mankind Has Ever Come Up With

This man could probably use a good slap in the face.

Okay, so you like to “plank”? In the words of Xzibit’s Twitter account (because Xzibit is my go-to guy for quotes), “Planking is THE dumbest shit ever.”

It’s hard for me to see the allure of such an activity, but because I am a 19-year-old male, I suppose there might be something inside my brain trying to convince me it’s fun. I’m not exactly sure when the whole fad began, but its origins in our popular culture are fairly recent. Basically, if you’ve missed out of this craze for the past half year or so, “planking” is when you lie down in a rigid position on some object, then have someone take a picture. That’s it. 

Of course, planking deaths are not an uncommon occurrence, which is not much of a surprise, seeing as, well, humans are generally dumbasses. At its onset, planking took off in Australia and New Zealand this past spring, and Americans decided it was an amazing idea. Celebrities such as Rosario Dawson, Justin Bieber and Kirsten Bell have been “caught” planking, and your stoner cousin has also attempted it.

This is the kid who skipped the class on Darwinism.

My man Xzibit made waves in early July with that quote I posted in the first paragraph, and followed it up with a couple other newsmakers:

1) “Planking was a way to transport slaves on ships during the slave trade. It’s not funny. Educate yourselves.”

2) “Don’t get it twisted. I care less where your dumb asses lay face down and take pictures of the shit, I’m just telling you where it came from.”

What “X to tha Z” was referring to was the common practice of storing slaves in plank-like positions on slave ships in the early years of our country. So, planking is not only stupid, but its racist, according to dudes like Xzibit. To each his own, I say. I don’t think I can side with one camp or the other: Planking is not cool, and it is certainly not racist.

Let me fill you in on a little secret, though: Just like everything else these days (ahem… women’s soccer team), Japan does it better than us.




About Alex Smith

Alex Smith is a writer and musician from Minneapolis, MN. He currently attends the University of Missouri in Columbia and is pursuing a dual degree in journalism and english.


2 thoughts on “Planking: Possibly The Stupidest Thing Mankind Has Ever Come Up With

  1. Of course we did some in-depth research on what my be the dumbest ever craze :: http://lastexittoreality.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/planking-extremely-stupid-or-extreme-sport/

    Posted by panovision101 | October 5, 2011, 10:08 am


  1. Pingback: Sunday Suggestions « Tom Rippon - July 24, 2011

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